Inuyasha's Final Battle
by FoxyG
Summary: Something Naraku should've done himself a long, long time ago.


The Demon Ohkii Chinchin-sama had a bone to pick with the Inuyasha gang.

"Inuyasha! I sense he has a shikon no tama shard!" Kagome yelled, pointing straight at the demon lord, just as he appeared from a menacing cloud of smoke.

"Inuyasha, your time is over," Ohkii Chinchin said in a decidedly sexy voice, though he managed to not swoon neither Sango or Kagome with it. That's because he was a demon! And evil! Gross!

Inuyaha's eyes flicked up to where a mass of poisonous bees surrounded Ohkii Chinchin. "Feh, sent by Naraku, eh?" Inuyasha unsheathed his massive tetsusaiga. With a bead of sweat trailing down his forehead, he thought, "This guy looks tough." At the same time, Miroku readied himself with his staff, as Sango did with her hiraikotsu.

Ohkii Chinchin was ready to start, but just as he was about to move, he stopped, "Wait, wait a minute." He looked around at them all, "Okay... monk, just what in the hell are you going to do with that staff? You think your fucking scrolls and bullshit magic are going to do shit to me?"

Miroku was taken aback, "Well... I always have my vortex!"

"Uh, no you don't. I have the fucking bees with me. Apparently all that shit you take in that supposedly endless vortex of yours manages ends up SOMEWHERE in your body--although I don't suppose you're effected by much else?" Ohkii Chinchin then looked over at Sango, "And you! I don't even know what the fuck your holding!"

"Cursed demon, it's--HIRAIKOTSU!" she threw the boomerang, only to curse slightly to herself as Ohkii Chinchin easily blocked the weapon with a simple move of his hand. They both watched it as it fell to the ground next to him. Sango didn't make a move to grab it.

"What? So you're not even going to fucking pick it up? Good choice--'cause what the HELL was that SUPPOSED to do, anyway?! It's not even sharp. Hell, it probably can't even knock me out if you hit me on the head with it. Even if it did, you know it wouldn't be able to make it to my head in the first place. How can any sharp-witted demon NOT notice a huge thing like that coming at them them?" Finally, Ohkii Chinchin looked at Inuyasha, then at his tetsuaiga. "And you. Got something to make up for?"

"Why you--" Inuyasha swung at him, cursing loudly as he missed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, was I supposed to stay still for that? Seriously. How do you expect to hit anyone with that massive piece of genital compensation?" Ohkii Chinchin rolled his eyes, only to lash out with his own sword, slicing Inuyasha's hand off. "See? I have nothing to make up for. Notice how my sword is _not_ wider than my skull."

"AHHHH! AHHHHH!" Inuyasha ran around in a circle as blood spurted out of the stump on his wrist, "MY HAND! This... this is a show for thirteen-year-olds! You can't do that!"

"Hey, you cut Sesshoumaru's arm off. Just because he was cool about it doesn't mean it didn't happen."

"YEAH! But we didn't show the excessive amount of blood loss that comes with that kind of injury--he just fell down... a cliff," Inuyasha's legs wobbled as he began to lean against a tree, "Getting... dizzy..."

"INUYASHA!" Kagome screeched.

Ohkii flinched, sticking a finger in his ear, "Damn, lady, keep your bra on. He ain't dead yet."

"Ka... Kagome..."

"Inuyasha..." Kagome sobbed.

"Kagome!"

"INUYASHA!"

Ohkii's eyebrows quirked, "Do they do this every time?"

Miroku shrugged, "Pretty much."

"Hm." Ohkii Chinchin looked at them all, "Why is it so hard to kill you guys again? I'm really surprised you aren't all dead by now."

Kagome sobbed, "Friendship and perseverance--"

"Hold on. What? What?? Friendship and perseverance? Yeah, okay, if you're a retard taking an art class. We're talking about fighting demons here. Full-fledged demons. That eat people. And have powers that can kill someone ten times over. Where does friendship and perseverance come into play when you're fighting blood-thirsty monsters with god-like powers? Shit. Everyone you fought up until now must of been either really fucking dumb or really fucking lazy."

"All right, that's enough from you," Inuyasha got up.

"Oh, what're you going to do now? Use one of your fancy sword tricks?" Ohkii watched as Inuyasha attempted to pick up his tetsuaiga with his good hand and his stump, only to utterly fail. "Yeaaah, that's what I thought." He looked over at Kagome, "Got something to throw at me, princess?"

Kagome scowled, reaching in back for her bow and arrow.

"Oh god help you, darling," Ohkii sighed, shaking his head, "A bow and arrow? Honestly? You mean you couldn't like... grab a gun from the modern world or something? Are you really that much of a dipshit?" Ohkii rolled his eyes, "This is fucking pathetic. I already won. I don't even think I'll kill you."

All of them looked up hesitantly, "R- really?" they asked in unison.

Ohkii laughed, "No." A blaze of hellfire encompassed the gang, and Ohkii Chinchin left just as their screams of pain and terror filled the air.

---

This is basically how just about every 3-episode Inuyasha battle should go... if the bad guy wasn't always so half-assed as to make almost intentional mistakes. Seriously. They should all be dead by now.


End file.
